Xander Love

I love that, even with Buffy gone, the fight goes on.

I love that Xander owns a “Peep Shows - 25 cents” shirt. I love that Oz is wearing it in “Anne.” I love that Glossing wrote a Xander/Oz fic about it: Nice Shirt.

I love that Xander’s ‘summer of slaying without Buffy’ code name is Nighthawk. I love that Cordy thinks it’s hot. I love that Buffy mocks it.

I love that Xander and Cordy totally make-out while Buffy’s trying to reconnect with him at her welcome home ~~hootenanny~~ shindig. I love that it’s *Cordy* macking on Xander. I love that she goes for the ears. (I also love Buffy’s little pink dress. Not to mention Devon’s floral patterned shirt. But this is about Xander - continues.)

I love that Xander’s the one to jump in on the ‘kick the Buffy’ train after she runs away. I love that Xander, Willow and Joyce are *angry* at what they deem Buffy’s betrayal and that none of them can possibly imagine what she’s gone through after killing Angel. I love that Xander tells Buffy that “You can't just bury stuff, Buffy. It'll come right back up to get you,” since I’m fairly sure “LaVelle” is the French translation of “repression.” I love that, even after his fit of self-righteousness, his first line to her as the Zombies attack (I love that I love a show that lets me write ‘Zombies attack’) is, “I got your back.”

Is there a funnier Xander line than, “Wow. They should film that story and show it every Christmas”? Okay. Maybe.

I love Xander’s kinks.
CORDELIA
What is it with you and Slayers? Maybe I should dress up as one and put a stake to your throat.
XANDER
Please, God, don't let that be sarcasm.

I love that Xander can handle the Oz Full Monty. I love that he feels the need to clarify: “…not 'handle' handle, like 'hands to flesh' handle.”

I love that Willow and Xander try on their homecoming clothes for each other. I love that Xander’s tux is a bit too short (as a borrowed one would be) and that Willow’s dress isn’t quite the “dayum!” as the one she wears for Prom but they’re still both fluked into a kiss.

I love that Xander’s horrified when Cordy and Buffy’s competition for Homecoming Queen escalates to yells of “Crazy freak!” and “Vapid whore!” (I also just love SMG saying ‘vapid whore’ – makes me happy.) I love that even though he’s horrified and his loyalties are torn, his expression is total, “Chick fight!” and you know he’s wondering where he can lay hands on a kiddie pool and two dozen boxes of lime Jell-O.

I love that Cordy loves Xander. I love that Buffy’s the one she tells.

How much do I love Willow and Xander’s coordinating sneakers? There aren’t words.

I love that Xander spies on Buffy and Angel. I love that Buffy calls him on his “kill the beast!” stance and asks whether it’s nobility or jealousy. I love that he tells Faith about Buffy hiding Angel. I love that Faith doesn’t even try for nobility. I love that Xander and Faith load up to go after Angel, I love that Xander’s not so blinded with ‘Angel angst’ that he can’t see that Angel probably had nothing to do with Giles’ Gwendolyn induced head trauma and tries to pull Faith back.

I love that Xander’s touched to be “locker door material.” I love that Cordy thinks he is.

I love that Willow fends off Xander kisses with Oz’s pez. I love the way she says, “PEZ!” I love that it works.

I love Xander and Willow. I love that, Homecoming kissage nostalgia aside, I never really believed Xander/Willow. I really saw that more as a comfort thing and the fact that both of them were confused by how “lottery lucky” they felt to have pulled Cordy and Oz. That said, I love that locked-in-the-factory last kiss. And this just sums up Willow & Xander for me:
XANDER
I won, right? Kicked his ass?
WILLOW
You were real brave. Do you need to barf?

I loved Xander/Cordy. I love that Cordy really wanted Xander, really *loved* Xander. I love that Xander was never into her just because of the cheerleader thing or the Pick-A-Dance Queen thing. His best friend was a Slayer, how much more cool cred did he need? I love that he loved the Queen C part – and that she still got on his nerves but she made him laugh. I love that they never actually (canonically) had sex – that it was all hot frustration and “almost” moments. I love that there’s great fic where they *did* have sex. I love post AtS “You’re Welcome” Xander-learns-of-Cordy’s-death fanfic. Especially if it involves a tense, uncomfortable moment of understanding between Xander and Angel.

I love how hot Vamp!Xander is. I love that he’s dressed like Season One Angel. I love that Vamp!Xander’s still pretty funny, even though the fact that I laugh at “Slap my hand, dead soul man,” makes me cringe.

I love that I may have swallowed my tongue a couple of times as Vamp!Xander and Vamp!Willow bite Cordelia and Xander reaches around Cordy and caresses Willow’s hair. I love the way I kind of lose my breath for a few minutes when Vamp!Willow tortures Angel and Vamp!Xander slides his hand down the bars of the cage and says, “No, thanks, baby. I just wanna watch you go.” I love that it makes me want to write Vamp!Xander/Vamp!Willow/Angel three-way fic that no one but Entre Nous would want to read. I love that repeated viewings of Wish-verse Buffy staking Wish-verse Xander still make my chest tighten in a non sexy-fun way.

I love that Oz and Xander debate red and gold kryptonite.

I love that “The Zeppo” isn’t my favorite Xander-centric ep. I love that I feel it should be. I love that Xander quotes Michael Jackson when Jack-the-Zombie asks if he “wants to be startin’ somethin’.”

I love Xander and Oz’s “essence of cool” conversation. I love that eighth-grade Xander played the flugelhorn. I love that Xander states that got him “zero trim.” I love how that line flew by the censors.

I *love* how gleefully relieved Xander is to see Angel at the Bronze as he tries to avoid car-chick.

I love that Faith was Xander’s first. I love that the foreplay begins with him popping in her dislocated shoulder. I love the “Just relax... And take your pants off,” “Those two concepts are antithetical,” exchange.

I love the big, clunky silver chain we see Xander wearing after Faith shoves him out of her room. I love my theory that Spike later stole it during his stay in Xander’s basement.

I love the “I like the quiet” line. I love that Nick Brendon cried when he read the Zeppo script.

I love that Faith wonders if Buffy’s ever “done it” with Xander. I love how persistent Faith is about the subject. (My boy’s got skillz.)

I love that Xander’s eye twitches every time Buffy says, “Faith.”

I love that Xander feels that he and Faith have a connection after they’ve slept together. I love that he truly feels that it’s a connection and wants to help her – not just try for more touch.

I love that Angel saves Xander from Faith, although I’m sure Xander would have preferred anyone but, except perhaps Willow. I love that Faith tells Angel that the whole “I can make you die” Xander choking was playing. I love Angel’s dry delivery of, “And he forgot the safety word.” Again, I love that the phrase made it past the censors. I love my dead kinky show.

I love the way Xander-speak filters through fandom for even non-Yay! Xander-fans. I love that “naughty touching” and “Hands! Hands in new places!” pop up in non-Buffyverse fandom discussion.

I love this exchange between Xander and Giles after Willow’s perceived vamping:
GILES
She was truly the finest of all of us.
XANDER
Way better than me.
GILES
Much, much better.

I love that Xander “shakes” the cross to make it work.

I love how amused yet stoked Xander is at the possibility of his “bad-ass” vampire self in the Wish!Verse. I love how slightly disturbed Angel appears at that fact. (My list – my perception.)

I love that Xander sneaks Giles’ research books for the naked engravings and naughty nymphs.

I love that, Xanderista as I am, Angel-as-Angelus bitch slapping Xander and casually telling Faith, “That guy just bugs me” always makes me laugh.

I love that this…
WILLOW
Faith and Angel? Together?
XANDER
Imagine the possibilities.

…takes my brain to a happy, subtextual place.

I love Xander and Oz’s “He's got his filthy adult Pierce Brosnan-y eyes all over my Cordy!” conversation in Earshot. I love that, in the outtakes from the ep, Nick and Seth are doing the “You can do eeet!” schtick from The Waterboy.

I love that Larry offers to post a “coming out” notice for Xander in the school paper. I love that it’s to be “tasteful.”

I love that Xander’s love of Jell-O causes him to discover the identity of the “kill you all!” threat in Earshot.

I love Xander and Oz performing the spell to destroy the Box of Gavrock. I love that Willow drew them a diagram. I love that Xander can’t tell their stick-figure renderings apart until Oz points out that his has a little guitar.

I love that Anya thinks Xander’s an “alpha male.” I love that she asks him to Prom. I love that he says yes. I love that Xander says it’s her or the “sock puppet of love.” I love the million and one Xander masturbation jokes on this show.

I love Xander’s “Yay?” as Buffy says that, “I'm going to give you all a nice, fun, normal evening if I have to kill every single person on the face of the earth to do it.”

I love, love, love beyond all repetition of the word that Xander buys Cordy’s prom dress for her. I love the way Cordy thanks him.

I love Xander’s reaction to losing 1999 Class Clown is “Please! Anybody can be a prop class clown. You know, none of the people who vote for these things are even funny.”

I love Xander and Cordy’s causal decision to skip 5th period in anticipation of the Ascension. I love that, Anya and Wesley aside, I hope they found a closet for old time’s sake.

I love that Anya asks Xander to run with her. I love the reason that he refuses.

Of all of Xander’s fear induced pop culture references, I love the reaction to the demon book centerfold of the demon Olvikan: “We're going to need a bigger boat.”

I love that Xander is Key-Guy. I love that he makes sure Angel knows it.

I love all Buffy and Xander scenes, but I perhaps love the post-Oxnard one at the Bronze most. Particularly the: “Male strippers?” “No power on this earth!” exchange. Didja know there’s lots of Xander stripper fic? FYI.

I love that Xander tells Buffy: “Let me tell you something, when it's dark and I'm all alone and I'm scared or freaked out or whatever, I always think, 'What would Buffy do?' You're my hero.” I love that he immediately follows it up with a Buffy-as-masturbatory-fodder remark.

I love that Xander and Oz tie Buffy up in Living Conditions. I love that the ropes aren’t tight enough (despite all the bondage fic!) and she knocks them out, making them look like they’re snuggling on Giles’ floor. I love that Xander later says, “Ow... why couldn't Giles have shackles like any self respecting bachelor?”

I love Xander squeezing the juice box as Anya strips. I love that I know it’s cran-apple. I love that I wonder how many times they had to film it to get the juice to shoot just right. I love that I think it was once, ‘cause Xander’s a straight shooter.

I love that Xander taunts the tiny fear demon. I love that Giles has to tell him to stop. I love that Xander says he wasn’t scared, he was in the spirit. I love that he sucks chocolate off his middle finger as he checks out Anya in her bunny outfit.

I love that “Beer Bad” *is* my favorite Xander episode. I love that the fact kind of shames me.

I love the whole bartender thing from “Rough day” to bad porn-star mustache fake I.D. to the fact that he says “fugue state” and immediately follows that up with perhaps my most oft quoted Xander line: “Nothing can defeat the penis!”

I love that Xander’s immediate answer to Buffy’s “I’m a slut” is a firm, “No.”

I love that Xander calls Giles, “Mr. I spent the 60s in an electric Kool-Aid funky Satan groove.”

I love Xander and Willow’s “what does it mean when a girl wants to make love and a guy doesn’t” conversation. I love that Xander’s two extremes of love making are “Wild monkey love or tender Sarah Mclachlan love?”

I love all the Xander’n’Giles time in early Season 4. I love that Xander’s mom offers “you boys” fruit punch.

Love. The. Xander and Harmony. Bitch-Slap Fight.

I love the scene in Pangs as Anya, Buffy and Willow watch “not at all Village People” Xander dig. I love that Anya imagines having sex with him. I love that Buffy calls imaginary Xander “quite the machine.”

I love newly infected with mystical syphilis Xander on his bed in the white wife-beater as Anya unbuckles his belt. (What? At no point did I promise depth.)

I love the “Can we come rocketing back to the part about me and my new syphilis?” line.

I love that Xander considers “old times” Angel being there. I love that he forgets that part was secret.

I love Xander’s orange-sleeved, floral print jersey in Something Blue. What are those things? Magnolias? Dogwood?

I love that blind Giles tells Xander to, “Please stop whatever you're doing. You smell like fruit roll-ups.”

I love Xander’s “How? What? How?” reaction to engaged Buffy and Spike. I love it when Spike tells Xander he’s off the usher list. I love that, later at Buffy’s dorm Spike mocks one of Buffy’s skirts. I love that, if you screen-cap it and make it into an icon, it looks like Spike’s trying to get Xander into drag.

I love that Giles suggests that Xander take Spike to stay with him in the basement. I love that Spike argues, “"I'm not having these two (Xander and Anya) shag while I'm tied to a chair three feet away.” I love that Xander answers, “"That's not exactly one of my fantasies either." I love that it’s one of mine…

Okay. I love that Xander’s only wearing underwear while he ties up Spike. I love that he’s tying up Spike. I love that, if you’re an S/X fan, you swear Xander wiggles his ass at Spike as he crawls across the bed to turn off the light. I love the whole “nummy treat” scene. I love that fic Spike calling Xander “nummy” in all seriousness makes me kinda wince. I love that the Nummy Treat scene caused a few writers to sigh happily and say, “Yes. We shall call it Spander.” I love that Jane Espenson (Writercon 2004) agrees.

I love Xander’s mime of “boobies” and his reaction to Buffy’s “staking motions.”

I love that he tackles Spike when he thinks he’s fed off Anya. I love the hug Xander gives Anya when he discovers she’s okay. I love his reaction to her naughty hand gesture.

I love Xander and Spike as basement roommates. I love that I have read more basement S/X fics than I can possibly count. I love that a lot of them are excellent.

I love that I just got distracted from this by remembering Spike’s “Soddin’ sleeping chair is bloody sodden” line. I love Spike in Xander’s clothes. I love Xander’s horrible pizza guy uniform. I love Xander’s arm around Spike as he and Willow lead Spike off to face another apocalypse after Spike’s aborted attempt at self-staking.

I love that Xander saves Spike in the burned-out high school. I love that the screencap from it is my quixotic mood theme icon. I love that Spike tells Riley he’s a friend of “Xanderrrr’s.”

I love the look on Xander and Willow’s faces during Spike’s “Let’s fight that evil! For justice and the safety of puppies and Christmas, right?” sales pitch.

Okay, I know I’m hitting the slashy Xander stuff hard (not my fault! It’s a Season 4 thing!) but when Buffy says, “So Maggie sends me down into the sewers with one of those blasto guns and the next thing I know it's raining monsters,” and Xander immediately says, “Hallelujah!” I can’t help but laugh. It’s a thing.

I love the Xander/Anya/Buffy/Willow/Giles sleepover in Xander’s basement. I love Xander’s “I Love Dirt” t-shirt.

I love Xander and Buffy undercover as “Soldier Guy” and “Scientist Girl” at the Initiative. And not just for Xander’s, “Can I have sex with Riley too?” line.

I love that his suggestion for them to not draw attention to themselves is to make-out. I love Buffy’s answer of, “This is the Initiative, Xander. Military guys and scientists do not make out with each other.”

I love the scene where Giles and Xander look for newly un-coma’d Faith and Xander states that: “The point being I could be the target here. Faith finds Mr. Xander Harris still in town, she goes tighter than cat gut. Got a lotta pent up feelings there. I'm only saying.”

I love Faith-as-Buffy’s, “Well, we certainly don't want to cut into that seven minutes,” comment to Xander and Anya’s plan to have sex next to candles. I love that Anya says, “Hey!” I love that Xander rejoins, “I believe that's my hey. Hey!”

I love that watching Superstar Jonathan makes Anya *and* Xander want to have sex.

I love the “erectile dysfunction – hot sweaty sex” in the ice cream truck conversation between Anya and Xander. I really, really love the way Xander tells Anya she’s gorgeous, as if it’s a foregone conclusion.

I love Xander’s Anya & Spike jealousy scene. I love that Spike calls him the “puffed up manly man.”

I love Xander’s “everyone’s going all Felicity with their hair” line. But not nearly as much as his freaked out at the hotness of Giles singing and that the girls are reacting to the hotness of Giles singing.

I love that Xander and Anya “save” Buffy and Riley and stop the poltergasm.

I love the Xander and Riley friendship. I love the whole “couple of guys” element to them. I love that Xander believes Riley can keep Buffy happy – read “safe.”

The “I have skills . . . and . . . stratagems” line? The “Viking in the sack” response? Spike’s shrug in answer to that? LOVE.

That Xander got fired from a phone-sex line? Love.

I love the Xander/Buffy/Willow/drunk-Giles fight in Yoko Factor from Xander’s, “Want some fighting pants, Buff? I can get ya some new fighting pants!” to Giles’ chortled, “Fort Dix?!” to Willow’s “You two are the two who are the two!” Despite the Spike instigation and the ADAM elements, it’s so real and so sad and so painful and so funny.

I love that Xander has the “Super Buffy – combine our essences” idea. And though we’ve all watched it a million times, written the meta, read the fic – I still really, really love that he’s the Heart.

I love Xander’s dream in Restless - it’s all about the journey. I love that Joss totally disregarded POV so that Xander could make the “sometimes I think about two women doing a spell,” line in Willow’s dream. I love “Comfortador” line. I love the shot of Xander and Willow holding up lighters as Giles exposition-sings.

I love that I repeat “bator” with Xander every time someone says “Master” in Buffy vs. Dracula.

I love that Xander says, “I'm finished being everybody's butt-monkey!” I love that Buffy replies, “Check. No more butt-monkey.”

I love that Dawn has a crush on Xander. I love that Xander never lets her know that he knows.

I love Xander and Harmony’s snark fest through the vamp barrier.

I love that Nick Brendon has a twin brother. I love that we finally got to see the Snoopy Dance. I love how well Nick portrayed both sides of Xander. I love all the fic possibilities of two Xanders. I love that Anya wants to have a 3-way with the two Xanders (again, yay for fic!) I love that Xander knows what “olfactory” means. And I love that the thing I love most about this episode is “Kill us both, Spock!”

I love the scene between Riley and Xander at the end of “The Replacement.” I love that Xander’s okay with Riley knowing that he once had a thing for Buffy, and I love that Xander’s the one Riley shares the “but she doesn’t love me” realization with. I love Xander’s reaction to that.

I love carpenter Xander! Goggles! Tool belt! Praise from Giles!

I love that Xander and Riley wrestle. And I don’t even mean that in a slashy way.

I love Xander and Buffy’s conversation about what to get Tara for her birthday. (Also? That ep begins the reign of “Sue’s Favorite Xander hair.” Which totally feeds into a theory about how most slash fic Xander has Season 2 Xander body and Season 5 Xander hair, but that’s neither here nor there.)

I love Xander’s, “Gimme sugar” line and the resulting kiss (arms! Those are good arms to have!) he gives Anya. Totally proves my 'Xander is the best kisser ever' theory, which is completely unrelated to my ‘why he always wore baggy pants’ theory.

I love Xander, Willow and Anya watching Riley on vamp re-con in Fool For Love. I love Xander’s line, “You know what he's like? He's like a cat. You know, a big jungle cat. How come I'm not like that? It's just so cool” and Willow’s immediate, “I think you’re cool.” I love that Buffy was (for the most part – accentuating the positive, here) such an ensemble show – in a episode that’s a fantastic Spike tale, you still get your ensemble moments. Kudos.

I love the Anya & Xander babysitting Dawn so Riley and Buffy can have some alone time scene. I love that Dawn states that “alone time” translates to “get Dawn out of the house so we can have loud, obnoxious sex.” I love that Anya immediately looks at Xander and says, “Oh, does that mean we can’t?”

God. I love the scene where Xander tells Buffy that Riley isn’t a rebound guy, but a guy who comes around once in a lifetime. Even if one doesn’t ascribe to that notion, it’s still a fantastic scene. I love that she listens to Xander – and I love that he won’t let her not listen – and I love the fact that they both take what he says and decide to do something about it.

I love that I believe that: “I've gotta say something...'Cause ... I don't think I've made it clear. I'm in love with you. Powerfully, painfully in love. The things you do ... the way you think ... the way you move ... I get excited every time I'm about to see you. You make me feel like I've never felt before in my life. Like a man. I just thought you might wanna know,” is one of the most gorgeous declarations of love I’ve ever seen.

I love that Xander hides behind Tara to get away from sniping Willow and Anya.

I love that Xander and Spike play pool. I love that there are Xander and Spike play pool fics. I love that they’re having two very different conversations, but they still both keep talking.

I love that Xander can’t make the choice between Anya’s life and Willow’s.

I love all of Xander’s reactions as Buffy faces down the Watcher’s Council in Check Point, but I love his whispered, “I've clocked field time,” most.

I love Xander’s dismay to learn that Dawn’s crush has transferred from him to Spike.

I love “Puffy Xander” in the padded bodysuit being used as Buffy’s pummeling dummy. I love that Buffy calls him “Puffy Xander.” I love his line that she’ll find someone someday and, “you could just be Buffy, he'll see your amazing heart, and he'll fall in love with you.” I love the Puffy Xander, Peaceful Buffy hug that follows.

I love Buffy and Xander dancing with leis at the Hawaiian themed dance. I love that Anya “let” them dance together. I love Xander checking out the April-bot. I love that Anya observes, “She speaks with a strange evenness and selects her words a shade too precisely,” and that Xander replies, “Well, some of us like that kind of thing in a girl.”

I love that Giles messes with Xander regarding having books on robot research: “Oh, yes, dozens. There's an enormous amount of research we should do before - no, I'm lying. I haven't got squat; I just like to see Xander squirm.” And that Xander laughs hugely, makes crazy eyes and replies, “Funny. Charming *and* funny.”

I love that Xander loves his girls, but he realizes that he’s odd “man” out and misses the guys:
Triangle: “I just mean, sometimes I sort of forget that he's gone. It's like, ‘where's Riley? Oh wait, the central republic of Where-in-the-hell.’”
I Was Made to Love You: “Too many girls. I miss Oz. He'd get it. He wouldn't say anything, but...he'd get it.”
Bargaining, Part Two: “I mean, this place is NORAD, and we are at DefCon One. Okay, I so need male friends.”
As You Were:
ANYA
You know, if you love Riley Finn so much, maybe you should just marry him.
XANDER
He's taken. And that's not the point.

I love that Xander’s job was in construction – particularly carpentry. Not to get too heavy into metaphor, but I love the constant thread of, “The one who fixes things.”

I love that we never canonically see Xander cry. I love that Anya did, and that his initial dialogue in “The Body” sounds like swallowed tears. I love that Xander’s the one who’s angry at Joyce’s death – while everyone else is either stunned, confused and lost, Xander’s mad at the doctors, at the world. I love how much anger Xander infuses the word “frickin’” with – letting you exactly what word he was softening. I love that Willow offers to fight him. I love that he kisses her on the forehead and says, “You know I can't take you.”

I love Xander’s apartment. I love that there are red twinkle lights in the kitchen. I love that he brought the orange “Spike chair” from the basement. I love the dartboard. I love the built-in headboard around the bed and the lava lamps and the model cars. I love that knew all of that from memory.

I love the scene in Intervention when Xander goes to “intervene” with Spike about the Buffy-bot sex in the cemetery. I love the close-up (both shots) of them as Xander grabs Spike’s t-shirt collar. I love that I *know* it’s not supposed to be slashy, I love that I *know* fighting scenes and kissing scenes were framed the same way – I also love that I don’t care. Oh, and I love Xander’s, “Yes. You are a monster. Vampires are monsters. They make monster movies about them,” line.

I love this exchange from Intervention:
XANDER
No one is judging you. It's understandable. Spike is strong and mysterious and sort of compact but well-muscled.
BUFFY
I am not having sex with Spike! But I'm starting to think that you might be.
I love that it used to be my email sig line. I love that, because it was my email sig line, it once made my dentist’s receptionist laugh.

I love that Xander pretty much kicks ass in the fight with Glory’s minions. I love that – though I *think* the stuntman was Nick’s brother Kelly – it’s actually the most obvious Xander stand-in I can remember noticing.

I love that Xander goes with Buffy as her “lieutenant” to negotiate with the knights in Spiral. I love that his negotiation tactics come from Sergeant Rock.

I love that Xander lights Spike’s cigarette for him and asks about his sword wounded hands and warns him against lung cancer. I love that he steals Spike’s lighter. I love that the, “I mention today how much I don't like you?” “You mighta let it slip in once or twice,” exchange sounds more like comfortable banter than true animosity. I love that it gets even snippier, capping with Xander asks if Spike’s big plan is “throwing migraines at them.”

I love that one of my absolute favorite scenes in the Buffyverse is Spike popping Xander in the back of the head when Xander can’t remember the Ben-is-Glory thing. I love that they both grab their heads and yell, “Ow!” I love that they bump against each other and Spike’s hand swats Xander’s ass on the way down. I love that my bias is kinda showing there.

I love Xander soft, disgust-filled, “God,” after the reality of his “What about Ben? He can be killed, right? I mean, I know he's an innocent, but, you know, not like Dawn innocent. We could kill a ... regular guy,” statement sinks in.

I love Xander’s, “Smart chicks are soooo hot,” after Anya’s suggestions about the Dagon sphere and Olaf’s hammer. I love Willow’s immediate, “You couldn't have figured that out in tenth grade?”

I love that Xander and Anya have inappropriately timed sex in the Magic Box basement. I love that Xander’s frightened by the Buffy-bot, and his comment that he didn’t think Willow kept it around just because she thought of Buffy, “that way.” I LOVE the, “Pervert,” “Other pervert,” exchange.

I love Xander’s proposal to Anya, especially this: “I think I'm gonna live a long ... and silly life, and I'm not interested in doing that without you around.”

I love that Xander owns his own bowling shoes. I love that, somewhere bumping around my brain, there’s a bowling fic.

I love that Xander’s reaction to Glory’s tower is, “Shpadoinkle.”

I love that Xander slams Glory with the wrecking ball. I love his, “The glorified bricklayer picks up a spare,” line, and the smile Buffy gives him in return.

I love the utterly shattered look on Xander’s face as he looks down on Buffy’s crumpled body. I love that he’s holding Anya in his arms. I love that I’m kind of tearing up right now.

I love that Xander’s reaction to Willow’s newly honed telepathy is, “I know, I know, I don't have to talk when I answer you. But I saw The Fury, and that way lies spooky carnival death.”

I love that Xander is wearing a #13 t-shirt and Willow is wearing a #11 t-shirt during the big “Bring her back alive!” convo at Xander’s apartment. I love that there were lots of fan theories about what it meant. I love that it’s random.

I love the intense conversation between Willow and Xander about being Buffy back. I love Xander’s hesitance. I love that they’re just now discussing the realities of it, considering they’re right on the cusp of doing it.

I love that Giles and Xander offer each other awkward handshakes as Giles prepares to go back to England, and then both give into a warm hug.

I love that Xander attempts to grill both Willow and Tara on the intensity of the resurrection spell, and all things he and the others weren’t told about it. I love that I wish he’d kept grilling.

I love how horrified Xander is when he realizes that the resurrection spell worked, and they had left Buffy right where they put her – in her grave.

I love that in an episode so fraught with angst and wank fodder as Bargaining 2, Xander can still make me laugh myself silly with a line like, “I happen to be a very powerful man-witch myself.”

I love that Xander offers just-back-from-the-dead Buffy pizza.

I love that the Xander, Anya and Spike scene at the tree tears me up inside. I love all the feeling manifested on both Spike and Xander’s faces after Xander’s line, “Look me in the eyes, and tell me when you saw Buffy alive, that wasn't the happiest moment of your entire existence.”

I love the Willow, Buffy and Xander hug at the end of After Life. I love the juxtaposition of Xander’s peaceful face and Buffy’s conflicted one.

I love that Xander’s called to mediate Dawn and Anya’s ‘Spiderman doesn’t charge’ argument. I love that his call is, “Action is his reward.”

I love Xander and Anya’s “flying buttress of support” argument over announcing their engagement. I love that Anya accuses Xander of confusing her with his, “fancy talk and, and lips.”

Could I love pig-tailed Buffy and tool-belted Xander in their matching yellow hard-hats more? No.

I love Pirate Xander.

I love that Charlie’s Angels dressed Anya’s dance of capitalist superiority causes Xander to announce their engagement.

I love Xander’s nervous conversations with both Buffy and Giles regarding his future married life. I also, randomly, love Xander, Anya and Willow dancing as the party winds down. I love that it always gets Nikka Costa’s “Everybody Got Their Something,” stuck in my head for hours.

I love Xander’s Magnolia, “Respect the cruller. And tame the donut!” shout-out.

I love the smash cut from Under Your Spell to Xander’s speculation that Tara and Willow aren’t even working, and his innuendo filled, “Oh yeah,” to Giles’ assertion that they’re probably making every effort.

I love every second of “I’ll Never Tell,” (especially the skeezy cheeses) but I really love the follow up conversation with Giles later, especially the, “Work with me, British man. Give me an axe and show me where to point it,” line.

I love Xander’s horrified expression to learn that they pulled Buffy out of Heavaaaan.

I love that, with OMWF being the episode that took BtVS from a cool show into an obsession for me, I thought it was really cool that Xander had summoned Sweet to “get a happy ending.” I love that I never once considered the people who died from the burning and dancing due to Xander’s actions until I read about in fandom. I love that, due to my vast love of both musicals and Xander, I try to rationalize it.

I love Xander’s attempt at prayer of multiple faiths as the vampires attack.

I love that Xander interrupts Invisible Buffy and Spike’s “exercising..naked.” I really love the, “You know, kidding aside, Spike ... you really should get a girlfriend,” line.

I love Xander’s excited, “Ooh!” reaction to Willow’s statement that the Trio’s lair included pictures of the Vulcan woman on "Enterprise,” and then his immediate cover of, “Nerds!”

I love Xander and Anya swing dancing. I love that it causes Xander to pull a jive muscle.

I love the handmade weapons chest Xander gives Buffy for her 21st birthday. I love that it has a CD holder.

I love Xander and Anya’s nervous pre-wedding chip eating. I love the, “Cool Ranch?” “Cajun Fiesta,” exchange.

I love that Xander and Anya are hiding in their bathroom from their families pre-wedding. I love that they have matching monogrammed pink towels.

I love that Buffy slayer-strengths Xander into his cummerbund. I love that the Harrises are Episcopalian.

I love the shot of Xander’s face as the door closes behind him at the cheap motel after walking out of the wedding. I love that that’s all I can say about “Hells Bells,” because even after all this time, it hurts me.

I love the Spike and Xander “King of the Big Exit” – “Willie Wanna Bite” showdown in Normal Again. I really love the outtakes from it.

I love Xander and Spike’s demon recon after the Trio created demon that causes Buffy to doubt her reality. I love Xander’s, “I altered his reality,” line.

I love that in Xander’s anger over what he terms, “That's not Proactive Guy - That's Sit-Around-And ... Watch-The-Rest-of-Your-Life-To-Turn-To-Crap Guy,” post-“Hells Bells” Anya angst – he kicks the gnome in Buffy’s yard. (That’s a weird Sue gnome thing. I open to the fact that it’s just me.)

I love that, while I know there could be angst over the Xander-Goes-To-Axe-Spike-in-Reaction-to-the-Spike’n’Anya-Table-Sex scene, I’m distracted by the fact that the stake in Xander’s back pocket totally ruins the lines of his jacket and makes his butt look like Puffy-Xander butt.

I love how much this scene from Seeing Red hurts me:
BUFFY
Xander, what I do with my personal life is none of your business.
XANDER
It used to be.

I love the chick at the yet-again-remodeled Bronze hitting on Xander. I love his wandering “Chicken of the Sea” fish metaphor. I love his homage to “I like the quiet.”

I love that Xander tells Warren: “See now, I think it's the daddy thing that's throwing her. 'Cause incest, not that sexy.” (Dude…are you reading your fic?!)

I love that Xander can read (or at least recognize) Klingon.

I love that Xander reveals to Buffy that he was more hurt than she didn’t tell him about her relationship with Spike, rather than the fact of the relationship itself. I love his, “How did we get here?” line. I love their hug in her garden.

I love Xander’s pain filled, “Christ, Will,” when Willow finally explains that Warren shot Tara, and that she’s dead. I love that just reading the freaking *transcript* of that episode is killing me.

I love Xander’s cynicism about the police handling Warren, mirroring his feelings about Joyce’s doctors in The Body. I love, even though it hurts beyond the typing of it, his line to Buffy, “I just ... I've had blood on my hands all day. Blood from people I love.”

Is it wrong that I love that Xander steals a police car? For the greater good, right?

I love Xander’s reaction to Evil-Willow-surfing-the-semi off Jonathan’s “She packed her own lunches and wore floods and was always... just Willow,” – “Just Willow.”

I love Xander’s, “You've never had any tiny bit of sex, have you?” almost more than Andrew’s, “And we've got maybe seconds before Darth Rosenberg grinds everybody into Jawa-burgers, and not one of you bunch has the midichlorians to stop her.”

Okay, okay – I know people have serious Season 6 issues, but I can’t help but loving Xander in the last three episodes – from the “heart” to referring to Evil-Willow as “Wiccapalooza.”

I love Xander on the run with Dawn, Jonathan, and Andrew, trying to kick open the door of crypt and saying, “Ow.” I love that, according to the DVD commentary, NB adlibbed the “Ows.”

I…love the Klingman’s Bluff scene. I love that all of the scenes leading up to it – Xander feeling that he can’t help, that he caused everything, Dawn suggesting that Spike would have stood and fought, Xander stating that he can’t even run away well – leads up to this. I love the yellow crayon thing for what it is – a reminder of how far they’ve come together. And I love that this makes my lip quiver: “Yeah, I get that. It's just, where else am I gonna go? You've been my best friend my whole life. World gonna end ... where else would I want to be?” And is there anything more beautiful than Xander holding Willow as she sobs and her hair fades back to red?

I love suit-Xander! Driving Dawn to school Xander! Only-one-with-a-real-job-Xander!

I love Xander’s answer, “Good thinking, except... this is the gang,” to Dawn’s suggestion that he and Buffy round up the gang.

I love the Spike and Xander look to Nancy’s, “Is there anyone here that hasn't slept together?”

I love Xander telling Anya that sooner or later his leaving her at the altar fails to excuse all of her choices.

I love that Xander has often repeated the “yellow crayon - my mouth saved the world” bit to Buffy and Dawn.

I love how offended Xander is at Spike calling him the Slayer’s “boy.”

I love Xander’s hammer-and-nail “power, control” analogy for Willow learning to control her magic.

I love that Xander takes Willow to see Tara’s grave.

I love all of the Buffy and Xander time in early Season 7.

I love Xander’s reaction to the fact that Willow wrote melodramatic love poems. I love her, “I’m over you now, sweetie,” response.

I love Xander’s, “I'm a strong, successful male who is giddy at the thought of all the women I will no doubt be dating in the near future,” and Buffy’s reply of, “Strong, successful males say ‘giddy’?”

[Wait – can I just break in say how much the, “Hit him with fruits and various meats!” line during the marauding troll scene makes me laugh?]

I love Buffy and Xander looking for Anya’s spider demon thingy from “Or a copycat spider demon!” to “Aw, it's sticky!” to “This isn't springy high-flying fun.”

I love the confrontation between Xander and Buffy (with Willow) after Buffy announces that she has to kill Anya. I love that’s there no right answer and that six years of prior canon have layered this argument with so much subtext and shades of grey. But I really love this:
XANDER
You think we haven't seen all this before? The part where you just cut us all out. Just step away from everything human and act like you're the law. If you knew what I felt—
BUFFY
I killed Angel! Do you even remember that? I would have given up everything I had to be with— I loved him more than I will ever love anything in this life. And I put a sword through his heart because I had to.
WILLOW
And that all worked out okay.

I love that Xander gave us “crazy flakes” – the breakfast cereal of the emotionally schizophrenic.

I love Xander following Anya after D’Hoffryn takes away her powers and kills Halfrek. I love that he tells her that “they” don’t matter right now, but that she shouldn’t be alone. I love his responsive to her self-stated clinginess: “Well, speaking as a clingee— I kinda didn't mind.”

I love The Odd Couple: Xander and Spike, Part Two. I love that, until Buffy discovers that Spike is under the control of the first, they appear to get along okay. (Wet towels on the floor aside.)

I love that Xander tells Buffy not to be too hasty about immediately negating the possibility of a replacement cheerleading uniform for the one Dawn shreds.

I love Xander and Willow’s post-“Daddy likes!” horror at discovering they were both checking out Dawn.

I know there were a lot of people who hated this scene, but Xander telling Buffy, “Now get off the boy, Buffy. We're going home,” takes me to all kinds of fun places.

I love the shot of Spike and Xander showing up the door of RJ’s brother’s house. I love the utter “doofus” buddy cop vibe.

I love Xander and Spike’s complicated “plan” to retrieve RJ’s jacket. I love them running hell bent down the street with it.

I love that after Dawn, Buffy, Willow and Anya express remorse for the RJ debacle, Xander states, “True. You fell for a mystical, ancient curse. Who hasn't made that mistake seven, eight times?”

I love that I’m irritated that Xander isn’t in Conversations With Dead People. I love the Xander-meets-Jesse-as-First scenarios I’ve read in fic, as well as the ones in my head.

I love Xander’s, “Why would a vampire lie about who sired him?” line. I love the meta-y “You were my sire! My Yoda!” things it makes me think.

I love Anya telling Xander as she Spike-sits that if he vamps her, she’s gonna bite Xander’s ass. I love that Xander sexy-grins, “Wouldn’t be the first time.”

I love that Xander’s response to Anya’s let's-stab-Spike-in-the-chest, “you’ve always been part of the ‘Spike is evil’ faction" is, “I've got a house to put back together.”

I love Xander and Anya’s “Good cop, bad cop,” routine with Andrew. I love their reactions off of each other as she accidentally hits Xander. I love Xander’s line, “He's primed. I'll be pumping him in no time.” I love that, in the outtakes, NB can’t say it without giggling.

I love that Xander calls Buffy at work to complain that the potentials are peeking in on him in the shower.

Random, but I love that Dawn worries that the Bringers saw the Potential-finding spell and Xander says, “Saw the spell? Dawn, they can't see flashcards. Big ones.”

I love that Andrew begins “a new hope” hyperbole about Dawn’s possible potential status and Xander says, “Say Skywalker, and I smack ya.”

I love Xander’s speech to Dawn in Potential. Honorable mention for the, “Hell, I could fit Oz in my shaving kit,” but I love this:
“They'll never know how tough it is, Dawnie, to be the one who isn't chosen. To live so near to the spotlight and never step in it. But I know. I see more than anybody realizes because nobody's watching me. I saw you last night. I see you working here today. You're not special. You're extraordinary.”

I love that Xander had Aquaman underoos.

I love that Xander’s response to being a demon-chick magnet is a “gay me up” request including Scott Bakula naked. I love that Buffy asks, “What if you just start attracting male demons?”

I love that when Buffy asks Anya why she’s there if she’s not Buffy’s friend and Anya replies, “I provide much-needed... sarcasm,” Xander rejoins, “Um, that would kinda be my job, actually.” I love that Xander immediately turns that around and defends Anya to Buffy.

I love Andrew calls Xander the “heart of the slaying machine” and Xander grins and ducks his head.

I love Xander and Anya’s, “I still love you. I always will. I just don't know if that means anything for us anymore…I'm not gonna find anyone out there like you, am I?” conversation. I love that Andrew rewinds and re-watches it and rewinds and re-watches it…

I love Xander and Anya’s “one more time” sex in the basement. I love that Xander says, “It's too bad Buffy took Spike's chains down, huh?”

I love that, in the commentary for Dirty Girls, NB and Drew Goddard have *is 12* giggles over the title.

I love that I know that Caridad and Colleen, the two Potentials from Xander’s “dirty girls” dream, are Dania Ramirez from X-MEN: Last Stand and Rachel Bilson from The OC. I love that his “house full of potential slayers” reality is a backed-up toilet.

I love all of the “eyes” statements scattered throughout S7, especially Xander’s battle tip to the Potentials: “And here's a handy rule: don't go for the flashy tentacles just because they're waving 'em about trying to get attention. Go for the center— brains, heart, eyes. Everything's got eyes.” (And I love that Dawn reminds him, “Except Bringers.”)

I love Xander’s ‘trust Buffy’ speech, “I've been through more battles with Buffy than you all can ever imagine. She's stopped everything that's ever come up against her. She's laid down her life—literally—to protect the people around her. This girl has died two times, and she's still standing. You're scared? That's smart. You got questions? You should. But you doubt her motives, you think Buffy's all about the kill, then you take the little bus to battle. I've seen her heart, and this time—not literally. And I'm telling you, right now, she cares more about your lives than you will ever know. You gotta trust her. She's earned it.” I love that it makes Dawn *and* Andrew cry.

I love that, two years and god-knows viewings later, Caleb gouging Xander’s eye still hits me hard. Oh, and I’m really glad I didn’t watch the series first run so that I didn’t have to see it in the “previouslies” for every subsequent ep through Chosen.

I love the Willow and Xander hospital scene, as he makes parrot and Jaws 3-D jokes. I love that Willow can’t, I love Xander’s broken, “Oh, Willow, please don’t,” at her tears.

I love that Faith tells Kennedy that any time Anya goes on about Xander, she just reminds her that she had him first.

I love that I can’t even discuss the “I'm trying to see your point here, Buff... but I guess it must be a little bit to my left...” scene coherently without…hand gestures and…spittle. I’ve got issues. Um, I love that Dawn holds Xander’s hand?

I love Xander and Anya’s ice-cream-sharing, “groaning and moaning” jealousy. I love the kitchen floor sex.

I love Xander and Buffy’s conversation about his leaving with Dawn. I love Buffy’s line, “You're my strength, Xander. You're the reason I made it this far. I trust you with my life.” I love that Xander tells her, “Besides, if you die, I'll just bring you back to life. That's what I do.”

I love, “Hey, party in my eye socket and everyone's invited.” I love the follow-up line, “Sometimes I shouldn't say words.”

I love that Xander is the last one Buffy breaks from as they separate into the high school corridors in Chosen. I love that he squeezes her hand.

I love the amount of emotion Xander expresses with, “That's my girl. Always doing the stupid thing.”

I love that I wish Xander’s last line had been his, “We saved the world,” and not that Gap, Starbucks thing that followed.

I love that Andrew mentions in AtS “Damage” that Xander’s in Africa.

I love that there’s Xander-in-Africa fic, whether it’s grown-up Xander facing his demons (literal and otherwise) or a Xander who’s half-blind, half-crazy and totally hyena.

I love that there’s Xander-as-Watcher future fic. I love that there’s Xander-Beyond-the-Mission fic.

I love that there’s future fic that hooks up Xander/Buffy, Xander/Willow, Xander/Faith, Xander/Spike, Xander/Giles…I love that the possibilities are endless. Whether he has a patch, a glass eye, a mystical eye or even a seer’s third-eye (‘cause he’s the one who sees) – I love that he goes on.

So I might love Xander. Little bit.