It's All Been Done
I did snerk, and I snortled, and I freaking laughed my behind
off! It took me through the first part to figure out what was going on, but this is sooooo damned funny. You took
badfic(?) to a whole new level. I think I gasped for air a few times, if that makes you feel any better. :) Thanks
so much, and I hope your computer woes are resolved soon...
Thought the story "It's All Been Done" was crazy funny. Just one correction
though. "I'm jealous of your cigarette" is actually another song reference. It's from the sone of the same name by Hawksley
Workman off of his "(Last Night We Were) The Delicious Wolves" album.
caro - firstname.lastname@example.org
Thanks for all the laughs. I've copied some of my favorite excerpts.
ALL BEEN DONE
“Let’s get out of here.”
He turned to lead the
way and then turned back, his face contorting in horror. “You’re not going outside like that, are you?”
looked down at her jeans and camisole. “What?” she asked in surprise.
Xander sighed. “It’s
June? In southern California? And you’re going out without a jacket?”
Willow cringed, crossing her arms
over herself in embarrassment. She looked around and picked up a mod-print, double breasted trench coat. “Will this
“I guess,” Xander said, opening the door for her. “Don’t you have anything in leather?”
he asked as the bell jangled and door slammed shut behind them.
Buffy’s arms wrapped slowly around him and
Spike buried his face in her hair, breathing deeply of her mystical, earth goddess scent.
Suddenly his head reared
back, his features twisted in pain. “Ungh!” He stumbled away from her, hacking as he fought to draw unnecessary
yet cleansing air into his long dead, though apparently still functioning, lungs. “What,” he asked and
hugely. “What the devil kind of perfume have you been marinating in?”
Buffy frowned at him, feeling a definite
snit coming on as he once again sabotaged a tender moment. “Uh, none, Mr. Can Track Me By Scent Alone. You know I don’t
wear perfume. It’s just my Vanilla Vixen body wash, facial scrub, body splash, body spray and feminine deodorant.”
you smell like a bloody Keebler.” Spike continued to cough and choke, waving off her attempts to comfort him.
glared at him, seriously pissed off. “It never seemed to bother you before,” she groused.
Spike shook his head, his eyes watering. “I dunno. Maybe you lost
some of that Slayer flavor when Red did her ‘share the power’ spell and the vanilla’s taking over. Or maybe
my sense of smell has improved – I haven’t smoked much since I came back.”
“Or maybe you came
back wrong!” Buffy threw at him.
[Buffy is shocked to find out that Angel and Spike used to have sex.
responds.] “So, okay, I pillaged half of Europe, I ate my own family, I was a merry nun rapist, and your
biggest problem is that I occasionally jumped on top of that incredibly attractive and not vaguely androgynous vampire?”
of Princess Bride.] Since the invention of the kiss there have been five kisses that were rated the most passionate,
the most pure. This one was way freakin’ hotter than those.
Angelus howled in rage (and not just because
he suddenly realized he was wearing synthetic fabric trousers) and dropped to his knees, his eyes flashing with light as he
And I think I got that from STTNG."
"I don't know what's geekier," Willow said, staring at him,
"that you just referenced Star Trek in a crisis moment, or that you tried to hip it up with the abreves."